48 days – Chapter 2, Post #2

Here are my repsonses to the questions at the back of the chapter.  As you can tell, if I had put this in one post, it would have been very long.

 

1.      Respond to the statement, “All progress requires change, but not all change is progress.” – ANSWER – In the first part, I believe we all understand that if a certain process has inputs and outputs, without any change to the process, the outputs will always be the exact same.  The second part makes the intuitive argument that just because you change something (with no thought as to the outcome) it does not always equate to something better.  When you combine the two statements, you get a paradoxical, somewhat difficult question to answer.  If you want your output (results and therefore income) to be different, you must change something in what you are doing.  But, without thought as to what and how to change, you are in danger of regressing.  For example, you may decide to quit your job to find true fulfillment in your life (first part), but you have absolutely no plan as to how to replace the income and thereby jeopardize your financial well-being (second part).

2.      What statement describes your career path so far?  ANSWER – Jumbled or unguided.  I have dealt “in the moment” of my immediate needs without a great deal of thought regarding what my talents, dreams and passions were.  I have dreams and desires, but they have always sat in the “upper deck” since I had more pressing matters to tend to.  Every job I have had for the last fifteen years has had major parts of it that I enjoy, just not the job as a whole. 

 

3.      How has company change affected you?  How did it make you feel?  ANSWER – I have only had the bad misfortune of being “let go” from two jobs.  Both were when I was in high school, so the thought that they would let go of the least skilled people comforts me.  Every other job I have had since then I have lest on my own terms.  However, I personal experience with this through my father-in-law.  He worked for a company for 28 years and then one day was told that either he packs up and moves two states away, or retires.  He choose to retire.  It has been a mighty struggle for him as he tried for years to find a replacement job.  Recently, he and his wife started a ministry.  That, combined with some part time work, has kept them afloat, but it has been challenging.  This affected me, as I feel it has affected many in my generation, in a way that cuts very deep.  We have a tendency to view our careers as mercenaries…we are hired guns.  Gen Xer’s do not operate under the myth that there is any loyalty between the company and an employee.  Everyone is on their own.

4.      Have you experienced failure in your career?  If so, what did it lead to?   ANSWER –   The closest thing I can come to is the two weeks I spent working for a life insurance company.  I chaffed at the ruthless management of my time and effort, plus the cold calling and the hard nosed selling.  They did not encourage product knowledge…only getting bodies in the door so the more experienced agents could close the deal.  IN addition, I spent five years (I cannot believe it was that long)  in the mortgage business.  In that position, I loved working with people and finding solutions to their problems.  Also, I loved a lot of the cold, hard number crunching.  But I despised the origination part of it (finding the clients.)  Unfortunately for me, this is a key aspect of this business.  In fact, if there are two loan officers and one is great at finding deals and the other great with people, the former will outperform the latter, simply because of the power of just dealing with more people. 

 

5.      What were your childhood goals and ambitions for life?  Which ones have you been able to accomplish?  ANSWER – There are two things that I can recall wanting to do when I was young (teenager forward…all little kids want to be fireman, policeman, etc.)  The first was architect.  I love to draw things and love to design things, but I also like the technical side.  I think that architecture is a good mix between right brain and left brain activities.  I am not really sure when this thought died, it just did.  The other was doing something with computers and business.  I actually started my college career in computer engineering, but due to family circumstances, dropped out.  Once I went back a few years later, I was on a different track.  Currently, I still have the love and affinity for computers.  I am often drafted into being the ad hoc “computer guy” wherever I land (family, work, etc.)  So, I guess I have partially accomplished this one.

6.      Who are 2 or 3 people you know who seem to have accomplished their dreams?  What do you remember about their accomplishments?  ANSWER – I will not divulge names in this.  There is one guy that I know that appears to be doing exactly what he loves.  He flies all over the world and leads ministry teams.  Another is a missionary.  He was very discontented until he found this calling on his life.  Once he worked through those details, he became so singularly focused that nothing was going to keep him from it.

7.      What do you imagine your retirement will be like?  ANSWER – I have absolutely no idea.  I would love to have grandchildren by that point.  I would love to be financially set so that I can help out my kids, give money (and more importantly, time) to ministries and be at everything my kids and grand-kids want me to attend.

48 days – Chapter 2

This post ended up being so long, I am going to break this into two parts.  The first part is my breakout of the main points.

Main Points –

 

• At what point do we settle for the life we have chosen or had chosen for us?
• The search for clear meaning should be a continuous one for each of us.
• There used to be an unspoken agreement in jobs regarding securioty…But in the 1980’s, this unspoken contract disintegrated.
• The US Department of Labor statistics state that 50% of the jobs we will have in the next 6 years have not yet been created!
• In addition, the average job now lasts only 3 years
• Firings, lay-offs, downsizing, etc are now common place.
• Is it surprising that moral at work is so low?
• Change is predictable, inevitable, impersonal and relentless.  The question is not will change reach you, but how will you react?
• How do you respond to change?  Are you threatened?  Are your resentful?  Or are you excited about the possibilities for you own advancement and success?
• General Douglas McArthur said “Security is your ability to produce.”
• Your only security is knowing what you do well.
• Knowing your areas of competence will give you freedom amid corporate politics and unexpected lay-offs.
• How many times have you been disabpointed or angry at what seemed like a defeat?  Have you later discovered that the failure saved you from a bigger disaster or directed you toward something better?
• Guard against letting setbacks embitter you.
• How bad does the pain [of the current situation] have to get before you will get up and do something!
• Common Career Questions –

·         Should I find a job and stay with it? – The average job is only 3.2 years in length.

·         Do I have to deal with change? – Change will happen!

·         How can I keep my job from controlling my life?  - First, decide what life you want.  Then, plan your work around that.

·         What if I don’t want another corporate job? – 60% of American homes are housing some sort of business.

·         I dno’t have a collage education…what can I do? – Recognize that people get promotions and opportunities in companies due to personal skills – attitude, enthusiasm, self-discipline and interpersonal skills – 85% of the time. 

·         Should I stop responding to classified ads? – Yes.  Only 12% of the open positions are in the classifieds.

·         My resume has me in a rut and I can’t get out.– Rebuild it.  Highlight your areas of competence.

• Dealing with change –

·         The best way is to be prepared to respond.

·         Look at yourself.  The more you understand yourself, the more you can move forward in boldness and confidence.  Be authentically you and let God use you.

·         Clarify what you want, create a plan of action, and begin to walk toward the goal you want.

·         You need a changeless core – knowing what God has uniquely gifted you to do – with that, you can forge through anything.

Every Man, Gods Man – Chapter 3

Main Points -

• “Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
• After conversion [to Christ] many can ask why we aren’t changing.  The author states “In many areas of my life I saw little progress.”  “As a dog returns to it’s vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.” (Proverbs 26:11)
• The fatal mental mistake…was figuring that mt conversion fundamentally changed my character traits at the same time that I accepted Christ into my life.
• Once a man has given his life to Christ, God’s aim is not to make him comfortable with the character and mannerisms that were ingrained into his psyche to becoming a member of the team.
• Character is carved out rather than instantly created.
• The author states “Like so many men I know, I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to personal change.”
• “Reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unploughed ground.” (Hosea 10:12)
• The conduct of a man will never outperform the content of his character.
• God knows how difficult it is to trust and obey Him.
• He will use any circumstance you can imagine to get our attention and pin us to the mat.
• “No discipline is enjoyable when it is happening – it is painful!  But afterward there will be a quit harvest of righteousness for those who are trained in this.”  (Hebrews 12:11)
• Too many of us miss God’s best because were impatient.  We give up too early and too easily.
• I have learned that what ultimately assuages my pain is the sincere act of confessing my wrongdoing to Him.
• Change is impossible until a man is willing to confess his actions.
• Humility shows a willingness to be guided by God, to be moldable, to be flexible enough to confess our failings in order to gain character transformation.
• We’re always going to come to forks in the road, and one may look easier than the other. When this happens, always choose the one that looks as though it will test your character more.  You’ll be glad you did, for Romans 5:4 assures us that character produces hope, a hope for the future.

My Reaction -

• It is sad but true – I fall into the group of men that are frustrated with the idea that some parts of my life simply do not change.  I agree that, at first, you think this should have been taken care of at salvation.  This is one of the great ploys of the enemy…to question your salvation.
• It feels as if we should seek to live with a little discomfort.  I do not mean unbearable stress…simply not being totally comfortable in our skins.  This is easily understood, because none of us have attained the perfect holiness of Christ, therefore, there is always something that needs to be refined.  However, we too easily seek that “comfort” over seeking character, and they are often polar opposites.
• God will work to bring about changes in our lives…He may be the one bringing us to that uncomfortable spot, the place where you just know, deep in your soul, that something is amiss.  He has promised that He will finish what he has started.  He started salvation by saving us (how can a dead person have anything to do with it) and, in the end, we are his handy-work and HE WILL FINISH the sanctification of our souls, regardless of our comfort level.
• To confess my actions to any one (God, wife, brother in Christ) is an agonizing thought.  This is because confession carries with it a subtle and unspoken request for accountability the next time.  And my flesh absolutely HATES accountability.  I wish to operate in my own world, by my rules with no input from others.  This is absolutely wrong and the Lord has brought me a long way just in the last 6 months on this, but it is still there in full force.  Confession will force me to confront all the issues I have with accountability.

48 Days – Chapter 1

Main Points -

• Is work a necessary evil?  Is it primarily a method of paying bills and showing repsobsilbilty?
• Leo Tolstoy asserted that we must return to the recognition “that work, and not idleness, is the indispensable condition of happiness for every human being.”
• The fruits of a fulfilling life – happiness, confidence, enthusiasm, purpose and money – are mainly by-products of doing something we enjoy, with excellence, rather than things we can seek directly.
• According to Thomas J Stanley in The Millionaire Mind,“if you love, absolutely love, what you are doing, chances are excellent that you will succeed.”
• A job should not define who or what you are…Your calling is a much larger concept than what you do daily to create income.
• Richard Foster says “The work of our hands and of our minds is acted out prayer, a love offering to the living God.”
• St Augustine says “To work is to pray.”
• If we recognize prayer as a time of being present with God, then it follows that our work can ve a form of engaging our hearts and spirits in a way that places us in His presence. 
• Money is never enough (motivation)…there must be a sense of purpose, meaning and accomplishment.
• Each area of our lives requires us to make deposits of success
• Opportunities in today’s work environment are endless.
• Success is not a future event – it is the “progressive realization of worthwhile goals.” 
• With children, we should find how God has uniquely gifted this child and how the parent can help the child excel in that area.
• Misdirected influences in choosing a career include:  (1) What is the most in demand (2) what is the most secure (3) what allows me to achieve position and power (4) what has the greatest income (5) whats advertised in the paper?
• Better questions would be: (1) What was I born to do? (2) What is my greatest contribution to others? (3) What do I love to do? (4) What recurring things keep coming up? (5) how do I want to be remembered?

My Reaction -

 

Mr. Miller at the end of each chapter lists some thought provoking questions.  I my Reactions area, I am going to give my answers to the questions.

1. Who gave you your first job?  What kind of job was it and how much did you make?    It was about 1988, give or take and I was 15.  I worked for a deli, doing all the cleaning, wiping down counters, etc.  If I remember correctly,  I was paid about $3.15 per hour and worked after school for 3 hours per day.
2. Looking at your work life so far, what has been of the greatest value or worth?   I would have to say my time in the Army.  I learned more basic life skills (following orders, team work, sticking too something) there than anywhere else.  I learned about getting things done.  These skills have been highly transferable along the way.  Finally, basic training  taught me how to gut through something and now I know I can do just about anything I set my mind to.
3. If your job changes, does your purpose change?  It shouldn’t, but in the past it has.
4. Do you think your current job will exist in 5 years?- Yes, based on all that I do.  I could see parts of my job being outsourced, but not all of it.
5. What would be the key characteristic of an ideal job or career?  -  One where I have flexibility in my time, good income and in most areas, I am the decision maker.
6. When you day dream, what do you see yourself doing?- I can see myself involved in a lot of different things.  I like variety.  Routine burns me out.  I would love to be doing something different everyday, especially in something where people are seeking my advise and counsel on matters.
7. What have been the happiest , most fulfilling moments in your life?  – Wow, what a question.  I can come up with a few examples like being ill as a child and getting to stay in my parents bed.  I can still remember the soft glow of the nightlight by the bed, the smell of the clean, warm sheets (and a TV to watch!)  As far as jobs go, I think I would go back again to the time in the Army.  That is one of the only places where I feel that I havetruly EXCELLED at something.  That is a strange statement to make considering my success in others areas.  Another example would have to be the sweet, tender moments with my children, like when they come cuddle up with daddy and there is that wonderful, unspoken bond between us.
8. If nothing changed in your life in the next 5 years, would that be OK?  I guess the answer to that is it would be just “OK.”  I want more, though, than just OK.  I want more in my career, my family, spiritually, etc.  Where I am right now in all those places could easily become a rut.

Every Man, God’s Man Chapter 2

Main Points:

• We are more than what we have become
• We must answer the following questions: (1) Who am I? (2) Whats going to be the center of my life? (3) Where is my loyalty going to lie?
• ” the eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him (2 Chron 16:9)
• Afraid to pay the price in their commitment to Christ, men tend to consign themselves to some pseudo-identity absent His real influence…they display a lack of spiritual integrity
• The key to living, breathing spiritual integrity is having your spiritual commitment  tested over and over again, which develops spiritual confidence.
• God will put our spiritual commitment into play over and over to reveal what is there.
• The goal is to choose God continuously under pressure and thereby develop spitual integrity
• With each test comes the potential for a new victory, and with each new victory comes an increasing measure of self-control, confidence and spiritual integrity.
• “He who walks in integrity walks securely ” (Proverbs 10:9)
• Feeling good is replace with feeling right about yourself
• “Integrity of the upright guides them” (Prov 11:3)
• If you are not divided inwardly in your heart or character, the voices representing competing loyalties will be muted
• An undivided heart eclipses fear
• God’s man lives for an audience of One.
• “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.  Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that man gets justice (Proverbs 29:25-26
• If God alone measures our lives, we are free to live for God without apology or reservations.
• Spine comes from undivided trust in the one who gives us the undivided heart.  There is no sadder or more pathetic man than the one with a heart but no spine.

My Reaction:

“We are more than what we have become.”  What a powerful phrase.  The author pulled this from The Lion King movie, but that does not in any way negate the power of it.  If you are like me, you struggle with who you are right now and what choices led you to this place.  But that is NOT you, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ.  Read Ephesians Chap 1.

The part about “testing” strikes me at my core.  There are two things about this I need to point out; (1) As a man, I love the thought of a test and the feeling of successful completion of a test and (2) I HATE the testing.  The reason is because there requires a certain amount of humility to even walk through the test.  You must be willing to not only submit yourself to the One that is doing the testing, but since the outcome is not known, you are risking failure…and failure is just too much for most men’s egos.

You need to read James Chap 1: v2-4

But when we fully grasp that God is our audience and no one else, for me that really elevates the pressure, not relieving it.  I will absolutely fail when held up to the Lord’s standard.  But grace covers me.  He forgives and I can move on.  Then, hopefully, I pass one test (with the help of the Holy Spirit) and then another and so on.

I am just starting to walk through all this.  All of these thoughts feel immature and undeveloped.  But I know in my soul, the core of this is right on.  God is the only one that needs to be pleased with me.

48 Days – Introduction

Here are the key points in this Introduction:

• “For many people, work has become nothing more than a paycheck.”
• “Obliviously, it is pretty difficult to put yourself into you work if you loathe it.  You could perform as others expect and get a paycheck, but you are not likely to experience meaning, purpose, peace, or fulfilment in work you loathe.”
• “If work was a punishment for evil, why does the Bible Continuously tell us to enjoy our work?”
• Ecclesiastes 3:13 – “It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks and enjoys all his efforts.”
• “Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men.” - Coll 3:23
• Finding the work you love is about “How has God uniquely gifted you in (1) skills and abilities (2) personality traits, (3) values, dreams and passions?“
• Finding the work you love is not a self-serving goal; it is a required component of finding your true calling.

My Summary -

This area really interests me.  I am very fortunate to currently be working at a place that offers both a good income and something that I mostly enjoy.  However, there is still that “itch that I cannot scratch.”  I have an entrepreneurial bend in me that I never seem to be able to satisfy.  My brain is ALWAYS churning out ideas.  I cannot turn it off.  I will simply be walking down the street and, BAM, there is an idea of possibly a better way to do something.  Now, I recognize that 90% of my thoughts either have been done, or are not practical, but what about that other 10%?

This book intrigues me because it tries to put everything in line.  You have a calling and I do to.  It is our goal to identify that calling and then structure our lives around that.  Money is a poor motivator and I think that you, if you are honest with yourself, would agree.  It is not about money. 

The end of each chapter has questions.  I will try to answer each question on this blog, and maybe, with a comment or two, a real dialog can begin.

Every Man, God’s Man Chapter 1

Here are the key sections:

• “It is not about asking guys to do more, it is about asking them to be more!”
• “What bastions have you erected against God’s goodness in your life?”
• They use the analogy of the “red zone” in football and say “all too often we fail to take the ball all the way.”
• “We lose focus; Satan gets us too busy, we fall into sin or we lack the experience to make the right call in a hotly contested domain of our lives.”

My Summary -

This is all too true.  Being more is the challenge in the lives of Christian men.  Whether it is at home, work, or anyplace.  It cuts to the heart and not just the surface.  Guys are good at running their lives 3 miles wide and 1 inch deep.  God wants to go deep!

Our lives and the lives of our families are at stake.  We must learn what it takes to “take the ball all the way in.”